Guest writer: My first girl crush

I'm not sure how to say this without going bright red, but I like someone. Not just any someone, a girl. Not just any girl, the cutest girl I've ever seen, with huge eyes that make her look surprised 24/7, a girl that laughed at the stupid things I said, my first ever girl-crush.

I never really knew I liked girls before, I always knew that I'd never limit or label myself though, I guess this day was bound to come eventually. I just didn't think it would be so soon. It was an ordinary day, I was with some family and friends, then I saw her, standing with a cigarette in her hand, her hair flying in the wind and wide eyes looking out at the view. I was amazed.

I would have given anything for her to notice me, to start a conversation or even if I could just open my mouth and say something. I was too shy, she was too cute, mostly she was just really cute... I tried to work up the nerve to talk to her, to be funny, or cool, or anything. I went through the day trying hard not to stare at her, not too act like a kitten following a piece of string.

 I didn't know what to do, I've had crushes on boys before, but never a girl, it still confuses me and I think it will for a while. I'm not use to liking girls, it’s so new and different, but so exciting, it’s like an adrenaline rush. Every time I think about her I can feel myself blush, every time I saw her pretty face I couldn't help but smile. I thought she was just cute until we actually spoke...

Everyone had left us alone for just a few minutes, those minutes were amazing. Just talking to her and hearing her voice was enough to get me smiling like an idiot, until I found out she was funny and smart which made me like her even more, if it were even possible. We were having fun until everyone came back and interrupted us, I gave them death glares strong enough to heat up the room, but again, no one was paying attention to me.

I went home with her on my mind, left, right and centre. I was too scared to tell anyone, afraid of what they might say but I was so excited and nervous and curious, I had to tell someone. It took me a while to work up the courage but I finally did. As soon as I said I was terrified my heart was pounding and I was a bright crimson, until they laughed and called my crush cute, I was still bright red but the fear had passed and I just felt silly.

No matter how much I wanted her she was too old for me and she'd never think of me that way, no matter how much I wished or prayed. She's still on my mind to this day and there's no signs of her budging for quite a while, I know there's no chance of us ever being together but I don't think I'll ever lose hope, no matter how silly I may seem. She still makes my heart flutter and make me look as pink as a prawn, but I like it. All I want to do is hold her hand, look into her eyes and if by any chance kiss her soft pink lips more than anything I want to feel her skin under my fingertips just to be in a close proximity of her gives me butterflies. My skin itches just for me to reach out and touch her to make sure she's real, to make sure I'm not hallucinating. She's my first ever girl-crush.