SEPTEMBER 2012

THE SPRING FEVER ISSUE

16 Days of Activism - Press Release




16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children


25 November - 10 December

Don't look away, act against abuse



Background

The 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children is an international campaign. It takes place every year from 25 November (International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women) to 10 December (International Human Rights Day). The period includes Universal Children’s Day and World AIDS Day.

Although the global campaign focuses on violence against women only, South Africa added children to its campaign because of the high incidence of child abuse in the country.

This campaign has been profiled and implemented in South Africa since 1999. The South African Government runs the 16 Days of Activism Campaign to create public awareness on the negative impact of violence on women and children and to encourage collective action against all types of abuse and its prevention in our communities. We are firmly committed to lead a coordinated effort to sustain the campaign into its next decade.

In 2011 the 16 days of activism campaign will be undertaken under the Theme: “From Peace in the Home to Peace in the World: Proliferation of small arms and their role in domestic violence.”

The five sub-themes will be:

  • Bringing together women, peace, and human rights movements to challenge militarism
  • Proliferation of small arms and their role in domestic violence
  • Sexual violence in and after conflict
  • Political violence against women, including Pre/During/Post-election violence
  • Sexual and gender based violence committed by the police and armed forces

Every year, government, civil-society organisations and the business sector work together to broaden the impact of the campaign. By supporting this campaign, thousands of South Africans have also helped to increase awareness of abuse and build support for victims and survivors of abuse.

This campaign actively supports the priorities of government to empower women, in particular rural women grappling with the challenge of unemployment and poverty; and protects the rights of the child.

During the campaign, government will mobilise communities around the national effort to reduce arms in society, which tend to be the common denominator in many cases of domestic violence.

While there is slight improvement, the levels of physical, emotional and sexual abuse experienced by women and children remain unacceptably high. The recently released Crime Statistics 2010/2011 indicated that:

  • With the exception of the murder of adult women which increased by 5, 6% and sexual offences against children (younger than 18 years) which increased by 2, 6%.
  • All other social contact crimes against women and children decreased by margins of between -29, 4% and -0, 8%. This is in quite sharp contrast to 2009/2010, when in most cases significant increases in social contact crimes against women and children were recorded.
  • Sexual offences in general indicates a ratio decrease of -4, 4%, from 138.5 sexual offences per 100 000 of the RSA population in 2009/2010 to 132.4 per 100 000 in 2010/2011. This represents a decrease of 2 136 cases, from 68 332 to 66 196.
  • The ongoing rape of members of the gay and lesbian community is a crime that will not be tolerated. The criminal justice system will deal harshly with the perpetrators of these so-called “corrective rape” crimes.
  • A person who kills and extracts body-parts has not only committed murder but has violated human rights. There is nothing that can drive a person to commit such horrible crimes against women and children as there are no benefits to be derived from imithi with human body parts.

Events


What can you do?

Together, let us take actions to support the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign.

  • Wear your White Ribbon from 25 November to 10 December 2011 to show your support.
  • Speak out against woman and child abuse. Encourage silent female victims to talk about abuse and ensure that they get help. Report child abuse to the police immediately. Encourage children to report bullying behaviour to school authorities.
  • Volunteer for non-governmental organisations and community groups who support abused women and children. Use your life skills and knowledge to help support victims of abuse.
  • Contact your local police station to find out how you can join a community policing forum and help create safer and functioning communities.
  • Men are critical partners in the fight against the abuse of women and children
  • Families must stick together to create safe environment for women and children.
  • Parents and adults can make sure that children are not exposed to sexual and violent material such as pornography.
  • Make a contribution to the Foundation for Human Rights, which receive money raised during the campaign and distribute it to non-governmental organisations. Contact them at tel: 011 339 5560/1/2/3/4/5.
  • Engage in online dialogues such as the Cyber Dialogues organised by Gender Links which provides a platform to share issues and experiences and offer solutions. Professional experts in the caring professions participate in the on-line chat room.
  • Get connected with important contacts and information published on www.womensnet.org.za.
  • According to the International Action Network on Small Arms (ANSA) Women’s Network, women are three times more likely to die violently if there is a gun in the homes. Report illegal guns to SAPS.
  • Participate in the various 16 Days of Activism events and activities: Watch this page for a calendar outlining events taking place around the country over the period of the 16 days.

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What is Government doing?

  • Government is establishing a Council on Violence against Women and Children. The Advisory Council will comprise of key government departments, civil society organisations and other relevant partners. It will coordinate comprehensive initiatives implemented to stop the scourge.
  • The proposed Gender Equality Bill will provide government with the legislative authority to fast-track the empowerment of women and address issues of enforcement and compliance towards the attainment of our target of 50/50 gender parity. The final Draft Bill will be submitted to Cabinet for approval by March 2012.
  • Development of a barometer to measure the number of women who will benefit from the five million jobs that we seek to create in the next 10 years under the New Growth Path, will highlight the high impact of unemployment on women.
  • Government provides support to children to fight child poverty. We currently have more than 10,5 million children who benefit from the child support grant, while we provide foster care benefits to over 563 000 vulnerable children. Government subsidises close to 800 000 children at early childhood development centres to enable children from poor households to obtain early education. In addition, more than eight million children at primary and secondary schools benefit from school-feeding schemes.
  • On 6 June 2011, Government launched the Strategy and Guidelines on Children Working and Living in the Streets [PDF]. This Strategy provides guidance on the services and programmes to be rendered to children living and working in the streets.
  • The Expanded Public Works Programme and a community works programme provide short-term employment opportunities while also responding to pressing community challenges.
  • The Green Paper on Families [PDF] seeks to strengthen and support families as the cornerstone of a well-functioning society.
  • Government led a national Rural Women’s Summit in May 2011 to empower women with information on how to access various departmental programmes. With the help of Government, women in Tzaneen run successful farms, mining as well as arts and crafts projects. These projects employ a number of people and their products are sold in domestic and foreign markets.
  • Since 1994, Government has developed several pieces of legislation to redress the wrongs affecting women and children.

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Where to get help

  • What if you are abused [PDF]
  • Counselling and support for women
    • National Crisis Helpline (Lifeline) 0861 322 322
    • Stop Gender-Based Violence Helpline 0800 150 150
    • People Opposed to Women Abuse 011 642 4345
    • Family and Marriage Society of South Africa 012 460 0733
    • National Network on Violence Against Women 012 321 4959
  • Counselling and support for children
    • Childline 0800 055 555
  • Social Security
    • Child support grants 0800 601 011
  • Healthcare
    • Marie Stopes clinics 0800 11 77 85
    • Depression and Anxiety Group 011 783 1474
    • AIDS Helpline 0800 012 322
    • AID for AIDS 0860 100 646
  • Legal assistance
    • Legal Aid Board 011 845 4311
    • Lawyers for Human Rights 011 339 1960
  • Campaigns for men who support no violence
    • Men as Partners Project 011 833 0504
  • Information
    • Sexual Harassment Education Project 011 403 0541
    • Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation 011 403 5650
  • South African Police Service
    • 10111
    • Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 567
    • Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences units were established in all 176 policing areas. Police officers have been trained to deal with these cases with the sensitivity they deserve. Forensic social workers are hired to assist child victims in particular to submit evidence necessary to support conviction.

Straight talking on crooked matters

We promised you something brand new, so please join me in welcoming a new columnist to the team, my lettie bag, and our very own hetero, Straight Stella! She’s witty and wise, and I love talking to her and always takes what she says to heart, and we hope you do too…


Abusive relationships happen all around us, and sometimes no one notices
until it’s too late…

So here I am.  Dubbed the resident straight girl for the Modern L writing my maiden piece.  I am delighted to be here and am equally grateful for the opportunity afforded to me by The Modern L to make my debut as a writer. 

In preparation for writing my first piece, I have done some soul searching in pursuit of a suitable subject to base my virgin critique on, and after much self-debate I decided upon a topic that is as close to my heart as it should be to each and every one of our readers hearts. 

This week marks the second anniversary of almost losing someone very close to me at the hands of a sociopathic maniac, and therefore, I dedicate this piece to her.  Her courage and resilience in surviving and recovering from being caught up in an abusive relationship has served as a great inspiration to me, and whilst I am not going to share her entire story with you today, I hope that thinking about her plight and that of many others in the same situation will serve as a revelation to you too.

In the past I have quite naively thought that it is only common people or people that come from bad back grounds and up-bringing that fell victim to or became the “abuser” of such horrific acts.  But I have come to realize that the occurrence of abusive relationships is a universal matter, and no matter your age, sex, ethnicity, faith, race, or sexual orientation, you too could become the victim or the antagonist of an abusive relationship. 

It was my opinion that should anyone ever find themselves in an abusive relationship, that they should simply leave.  And I think we all, naively, think that way at some point in our lives, and cannot understand why someone would willingly stay in a relationship like that.  I mean, just pack up and leave, right?  Wrong!  I have come to appreciate that the truth of the matter is that it is simply not that simple.

The effects of the abuse goes much deeper and is much more ominous than what meets the eye, and  unless you have been the victim or at least a close friend or relative of a victim, you will never truly understand the psyche behind why the victim stays.

Any victim, I believe, has to endure the various stages of abuse, and by the time the situation becomes life threatening, they have fallen so deep into that big black hole that they cannot see a way out.  The abuse usually starts subtly with emotional abuse.  The abuser breaking down every single wall the victim had built to protect themselves.  Going into the core of the victim’s existence, ripping apart any glimpse of a healthy self-esteem.  Once the victim believes that they are as worthless and useless as the abuser makes them believe, the estranging starts….the abuser will more often than not estrange the victim from their friends and families, so that they think they have no one to turn to and nowhere to go.  Once that climate has been set, it’s all downhill from there.  The abuser gains full control over the transport and finances of both parties in the relationship – therefore making the victim even less capable of getting out.  The physical and verbal abuse gets gradually worse, the victim becomes the best liar in town as they are forever having to think up believable stories as to why they have a black eye, or a busted lip etc.



When a victim finally musters up the courage to threaten to leave the aggressor, the aggressor will make use of his / her best manipulation tactics to gain the upper hand again.  Usually death threats, threats to harm their families, threats to commit suicide, crying etc.  Some of them even go as far as to make the victim believe that they are suffering from some illness or disease and will surely die, should the victim leave and not be there to take care of his / her abuser.

Even through all of that, amazingly a lot of victims find a way out, be it some great family intervention, or the victim ends up in hospital, or whatever!  The sad part is that the abuser usually is a master manipulator and an even bigger liar than the victim, and often the victim goes back to the abuser, firmly believing that the abuser has changed, or found Jesus or something – and then it usually doesn’t take long for the vicious cycle to start all over again.  Some victims never make it out alive….

If you are a victim in an abusive relationship, I would like to tell you today that you are not alone, YOU have a voice, and your opinion does matter.  There is a way out, even if your abuser threatens to harm you, you can get away, and there will always be people that care about you enough to help you.  Be smart, plan your escape, and don’t feel too ashamed or too scared to ask for help.

If you know a victim that is currently in an abusive relationship, I would like to ask, don’t forget about this person, please don’t lose hope and don’t give up.  Reassure your friend or relative that you are there for them, no matter what.  Most of all, be there when this person needs someone to help him / her get out of that situation.  Do your homework, know the law and how to use it.  Stay safe, and remember Rambo is a fictitious character.  Use your head, and don’t get hurt.

If you are the antagonist in an abusive relationship, to you I would like to say:  you have a problem.  Your behavior is not normal, and there are people, professionals, that can help you overcome the issues that you have.  Go and see someone before you do something to someone else that you will regret later. 

That’s all from me for today, stay safe, and take care of each other – always.

Straight Stella

Social Butterfly: OurSeasons Summer




Let me say it again, I LOVE MY JOB! And attending this absolutely epic event is one of the reasons why. I can say with absolute certainty that everyone who attended had a blast, and those who didn’t, missed out on the JOL of a lifetime! The timing also could not have been better. As we wind down to the final stretch of what has been, for many, a long and hectic 2011, OurSeasons was just what the doctor ordered to recharge our batteries to face the last few weeks of the year.





Cheers to a brilliant choice in venue! Jet nightclub at Northgate mall was perfect for this event. Easy to find for those not familiar with the area and centrally located for the party animals not wanting to drive too far. Ample, secure parking, 3 Spacious dance floors, plenty chill space and more bars than we could count. A welcome change to the average party night out, was that our male counterparts were denied entrance to this specific party. I’m sure there were a few disappointments regarding this policy, but we welcome it. There’s 364 days a year we have to party with the boys so it’s refreshing  to have something JUST FOR THE LADIES.  A very nice touch was the free cocktail we received upon entry and the enticing Fruit Bodyplatter that grabbed everyone’s attention on the way to the main dance floor.





Cheers to the out-of-this-world entertainment! Each dance floor offered something different and unique to suit all tastes, and enabled everyone attending to have a night to remember. The main dance floor played host to DJ’s such as DJ Poppy (5FM), DJ Skye, DeeJay Blend and everyone’s favourite DJ, Lindie Lush. There was also a Hip-Hop/House dance floor and a Langarm/Sokkie dance floor where we found ourselves for a large part of the evening thanks to organisers, DJ’s and dancers displaying themselves as we’ve never seen before. All dance floors were also graced by the presence of gorgeous scantily clad lasses shaking what their mama’s gave them to the different genres that each dance floor offered. Then there were some phenomenal give-aways and competitions, including a langarm-sokkie competition that myself and a friend won.





Cheers to the organisers! It’s not often that LGBTI people, especially the lesbian community, have an event of this magnitude just for ourselves. And taking just the costs, logistics and marketing for something like this into account, we can only imagine it to be a massive undertaking. It is also extremely rare in any other community that you would find 3 event organisers collaborating AND finding sponsors to make one massive party happen!





The Modern L’s biggest cheer goes to Judith Nel for this amazing concept and all the events she plans throughout the year for the benefit of the lesbian community. We are looking forward to the PINK GIRLFEST, on from the 22nd to the 25th of March 2012 and if the Summer event of Ourseasons is anything to go by, we cannot wait for the Ourseasons events in 2012! Thank you!

We would like to thank the Proud Sponsors of this amazing event:

- Stud Nation
For those that appreciate musculine clothing 074 475 6826
- Hairlusions
Specialize in ladies/ gents/kids and enthnic hairstyles 011 781 5888/9
- Cabs for Women
Getting you where you need to be safely 086 177 7778
- DC Graphix
For all your signage production and fitment 076 818 0584
- LSC
Non profit Lesbian Social Club 082 735 2169
- Pink GirlFest
WOMEN ONLY national festival 082 976 7997
- Alice amagazine
The gay girl glossy 021 423 7862
- Disctinct Photography
For all your studio, event and wedding photos 076 454 2076
- Lynx Chemicals
For all your bulk cleaning equipment and chemicals 011 887 5510
- Hengst & McMaster attorneys and conveyancers
Contact them for all legal matters on 011 463 5580/6123
- The Modern L
Everything you want to know about being a Modern Lesbian.
- Lady Africa Bush Lodge
An exclusive ladies only lodge in Sterkrivier 083 556 0655
- BENT
Upmarket gay girl monthly party in Durban 083 3947373
- Mambagirl
Stay up to date with what is happening where in the gay community on mambagirl.
- Mambagirl Dating
Meet your match on mambagirl online dating site.
- SAB
Always there to support the pink industry, they sponsored the welcoming cocktails.

Article by Miss Jones (The Modern L)