Mrs Claus's Tequila Christmas Cake Recipe



Once again this year, I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

Nuts

1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality

Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality..

 Repeat.

 Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

 At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

 Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor.

 Mix on the turner.

 If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

 Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.

 Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

 Check the tequila.Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

 Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat

Lizzy's 12 days of Christmas!

We love Lizzy! Take a look at her take on Christmas (or Crispmuff as she likes to call it) and have a laugh! As with all of Lizzy's video's, this is NOT for the easily offended!

A letter to my lover

My world used to be full of color, full of light, hope and happiness. Suddenly everything fell dark, the light casting shadows on my now half zombie soul. You did this, the love of my life and still I hang on, still I fight.

Your mom said she could lose you and it's my fault, she says that you wanted to impress me. You never had to impress me I loved you from the moment I looked into your eyes the very first time and I loved you even before that.

You did something wrong not thinking about our future together, you only lived for what you did. Was I even in your mind when you decided to throw everything away?

Maybe if you cheated on me, or fell pregnant I could accept it forgive you, but this is so much harder to deal with. No you did not commit suicide neither did you leave me but the chance that you might get send away is there. I won't see you for a long time but I will still hold on and wait for you.

I am broken, torn apart and when I look at you all I feel is love and sometimes you push me so far away. My heartache turned violent and all of a sudden my heart cramps every time it breaks and I can't breath.

Just know I don't blame you I love you, I am broken but you alone can fix me

All hail the Kings!

Welcome to the wonderful and wacky world of Androgeny. A gender-bending spectacular, that started with two friends sharing a dream and a passion for performance arts and entertainment. It’s been a long time coming, and finally we get to meet Feelerdown McBoy and Justin Case and find out first hand, what South Africa’s first and only drag Kings have to say about their craft:

·        What is a drag king?

Feeler: It is a female performer using a male persona for shows to entertain people.

Justin: A King is basically a performance artist that transforms herself into a man with different make-up techniques, outfits and what we call packing (the proverbial bulge in the pants) and binding (hiding our assets)

·        When did you decide to become a king?

Feeler: About two years ago but it only really sunk in a year ago.

Justin: I’ve been involved in the drag world for a while now, but the majority of my involvement centred around helping Queens preparing for their shows, preparing storyboards and numbers, filming video clips and snapping photos of their shows. I’ve always admired their flair for the stage and their flashy outfits and it was a no-brainer when myself and Feeler had a conversation about actually doing our own gender-bender act.

·        What does being a drag king mean to you?

Feeler: Its fun, I love it! It simply means that I can be anyone I want to be and the bonus part; I can be goofy and silly to make people laugh

Justin: Being a drag king is a way of expressing myself creatively, while being active and having fun with my friends. It’s a means of escapism and it’s awesome being able to be anything and anyone I want to be.

·        Do you want to be a man?

Feeler: No I love my female anatomy tooooo much... Need I say more?

Justin: Definitely not! I’m all woman and I love who I am. So much so that I still get a bit freaked when I realise I have a bulge in my pants sometimes.

·        Tell us about your character?

Feeler: Feelerdown Mcboy is a klutz, he is funny and idiotic. He doesn't really think things through, he is impulsive, but always manages to pull off his projects.

Justin: Justin is the quintessential ladies’ man and very naughty. He loves ties and tuxedos. Some might find him a bit gay because of his grooming and the fact that he flaps and teapots like a pro.

·        Do you ever get nervous?

Feeler: Hell yeah but vanilla vodka works wonders on nerves!

Justin: Sure I do, especially during the time that we’re waiting to go on stage and during our first number before we really see much of a crowd reaction. This usually passes quickly and becomes more fun as I interact with the crowd.

·        Who inspires you in the drag world?

Feeler: Don't really know how to answer that, there's a lot of great drag kings and queens out there.

Justin: I do have a few people who inspire me, kings and queens. As far as kings go I really admire Landon Cider. His make-up always leaves me speechless and his stage presence is amazing. Then there’s Smokey Gonzalez from the San Diego Kings club, who’s kinda like my mentor and very own Mr Miyagi. Whenever I’m looking for inspiration or ideas he always has a handy tip ready or I just watch his clips on youtube. Then, the person who inspires me the most by far is Androgeny Fabulash. She was my best friend and introduced me to the drag world. Her outrageous outfits, her charm, glamour and fantastic sense of humour laid the foundation and her acts are the standard that I set for myself each time I go on stage.

·        What message do you have for aspiring drag kings?

Feeler: Go for it, put on your beard, pack and be fabulous. Don't let anyone tell you that you won't be good at it, show them and surprise them! Live it, feel it, love it most of all work it and rock it

Justin: Just do it! Free your mind in your androgeny and be the master of your own destiny! Two things though, stay out of the politics that surround the business and always wear shoes you can get in and out of in less than five seconds!