Blame The Moon
by Lindie Meyer
Andy was tired, she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in ages and the sheets were hard and cold on her naked skin. If Jules were there they would stare at the moon and cuddle after making love, fall asleep in each other’s arms and frolic in their dreams, separate yet distinctly influenced by the other. She yawned, tearing up her blue eyes, but it was no use pretending, sleep wouldn’t come to her, she would sooner embrace death in her current state.
Jules had a way of comforting her, shielding her from reality, but Jules had been gone for two weeks and there was nothing left of Andy, not a single thought or emotion other than a need for her life partner, her soul mate, her very soul.
“Andy, my soul, I love you…”
The words kept rolling through her heart, offering her joy and sadness mixed together in lethal dosages.
“I could get on that plane with you Jules.”
Jules declined, a weekend apart wouldn’t kill them, besides, Andy couldn’t join her in the meetings and presentations she had to attend in London all weekend.
They kissed at the airport, held each other tight, joking about little things they had been sharing for twelve years.
“I’ll see you Monday my soul.”
Monday came, but without Jules.
Andy threw the blankets over her head, smelled familiar memories in the fabric.
“How do I start with a new blanket baby?”
She started sobbing, the tears absorbed by the cotton until it was saturated with grief.
“You used to pull the blanket off me, saying I shouldn’t hide my body from the night, then you softly kissed my neck.”
She couldn’t fight off the cold, breathe without stopping tomorrow from coming.
At the funeral she wished it was her coffin, or that they shared one last cuddle while their bodies were being lowered into the ground and sealed off from the living world forever. Both her and Jules’ families were worried, she could tell by the gentle hand on her shoulder, loving stares, words of comfort that brought no comfort whatsoever.
“Jules! Jules! Jules! Jules! Why don’t you answer, I thought you’d always be here, us, remember? You promised! You freaking promised! Why did you promise me that? Why Jules? Why?!”
Andy crawled out onto the floor, Jules had picked the carpet so carefully.
“It’s like running my body over yours, so soft, you can pick the colour my soul.”
“If I am your soul, come and get it, I have no use for it without you, no use…”
She crawled to the window, moon staring at her, somehow looking worried, helpless.
“You see the moon Jules? No matter how big or small, it was always there for us, what do I do with the moon on my own? Do I tell it how much I miss you?”
She got up and placed her palms flat against the window, her knees never parting with her beloved carpet, the soft skin.
“I hate you moon! And I love her! You hear me? Just fall down from the sky cause you’ve lost, you never stood a chance, you’re ugly and she’s beautiful!”
The night was cloudless, but thunder struck in her soul, powerful destructive forces, deepened by pain and despair.
“I will fly with you Jules, wait for me…”
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