In Loving Memory of Martha Mienie

On the 9^th of July 2012, Co-founder and Co-owner of The Modern L, Martha Mienie took her own life.

Our readers and followers might recognise her name from the brilliant articles, stories and letters she wrote, but for the most part, Martha flew below the radar and kept herself out of the spotlight, to give others a chance to shine. This was her nature. Kind, caring, helpful, intelligent, creative but at the same time, humble, giving, compassionate and selfless.

Martha on her wedding day

Martha was not only an imaginative writer, but an eccentric who loved the stage. She was well known as Feelerdown McBoy, a member of drag king crew, Androgeny, that made their stage debut at Detour and later went on to perform on stage at the Pink GirlFest. Her imagination and creativity shone through in the many projects she had attempted and it is because of her incredible intuition, ambition and sometimes just plain crazy ideas, that these projects were so successful.

Martha on stage at Pink GirlFest

That was Martha in the public eye. To me, Martha was my friend. And no one could have asked for a better friend than her. She was always there when others needed her, always dropped everything to help the people she loved and cared about, always made a plan to help those in need and always put her own dreams and desires on the backburner to please others.

Martha and I at a braai last year

My friend and partner has now left. And I stay behind and pick up the pieces. I’m sad, for myself, because the vacant space can’t be taken by anyone else but her, she was one of a kind and very special, and even though I miss her very much, I cannot judge her for wanting the pain, and heartsore to stop and for the demons and the noise to go away and I know she’s in a better place now, away from all everything that ate away at her, but it doesn’t make the pain go away or make me miss her less.

Martha and Dominique aka Feeler and Danny

Rest in peace my sweet friend, one day we’ll meet again…

“…I guess she thought I'd be a perfect resort because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth and
yes they're in shock they are panicked you and your chronic them and their drama
you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion
if we were our bodies
if we were our futures
if we were our defenses I'd be joining you
if we were our culture
if we were our leaders
if we were our denials I'd be joining you
I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know
you said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed" and you were mindboggling you were intense
you were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful
if we were our nametags
if we were our rejections
if we were our outcomes I'd be joining you
if we were our indignities
if we were our successes
if we were our emotions I'd be joining you
you and I we're like four year olds we want to know why and how come about everything
we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak out minds and never talk small and be intuitive
and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon
we need to find like-minded companions
if we were their condemnations
if we were their projections
if we were our paranoias I'd be joining you
if we were our incomes
if we were our obsessions
if we were our afflictions I'd be joining you
we need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a little more often…”

Our sincerest condolences go out to the people who truly loved and cared for Martha and we would like to thank everyone for their support during this difficult time. A special thank you from me goes out to Dominique for the shoulder and the friendship and kindness you showed to Martha, to Sharon for your insight and encouragement, to Hannah for checking up on me every day, to GeeGee and Straight Stella for letting me vent when things got too much, to Mari-Louise for standing by me through her own pain, Cindelicious for her support, my mom for always worrying too much, and to my fiancé, Lorette, a very big thank you from the bottom of my heart, for everything you did for me and for Martha. I appreciate all of you!